There comes a point in life where you have to flip the script of your fears.
My book, Daddy Issues: How to Detangle from the Sins of our Fathers, is about my struggle of dealing with emotional trauma as I was impacted by the ever present Father Wound we all have to contend with. My adolescence was filled with days of questioning myself, more than the average developmental expectation, I’d say. My identity was found in other people. Anxiety was always chilling in the background, taunting me. She (I have to personify her to manage her) told me I wasn’t good enough and she fueled the insufferable imposter syndrome. I didn’t trust my own gut because I always had the critic in the background (who honestly, sounded like my Daddy). When I got to college, I continued to look for ways to fill a bottomless void through people, places, and things after the painful rejection from the man who was supposed to protect and guide me. I was trying to make so many square pegs fit into round holes.
I knew I was put here for more than pain. I chose to
stand in the light instead of being swallowed by darkness.
I stopped running from the lies and faced them head on.
I learned the truth and was intentional about how to use it to address the critic in my head.
I built a team, to include God, my trusted circle of friends, family, and my therapist.
I detoxed physically and mentally.
I started taking better of my mind, body, and soul.
Have you been to the place where you’re crying in the shower, ruining the fresh blow-out you just got on your natural hair? Oh, just me? This is only part of my emotional rock bottom. Sis, I’ve cried to my friends and husband to the point that I stopped sharing for fear of burdening them with my own mess. It’s not a pretty picture when you are hiding from your family under your sheets because you don’t even want to spread the low vibrations. Whew! That’s what my insecurity looked like. It’s what questioning my existence felt like. It is so hard when the truth you know doesn’t match with what we feel...to that end, even knowing the truth is far away, sometimes! I want better for you. I’ve been able to go deep in my sadness and come out fighting. Thank God, I don’t look like where I’ve been! This doesn’t mean my confidence doesn’t take a dip, but what I’ve learned is the tools and the tribe I need to mitigate the fear, pain, feelings of worthlessness, and so on. When I figured this out, I had to share the secrets to overcoming emotional trauma. It’s what fuels my work and the many women I’ve walked along side with thus far. Witnessing the contagious positive energy and the blossoming of self-love is my Why!
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